Best Horse Names of All Time
There are a lot of rules when it comes to naming an equine for example no obscenities, you can’t do it again the name of a Triple Crown or Breeders Cup Champion and when a horse is in the corridor of fame horse his name is usually off limits so that forces equine owners to be creative.
I’ve searched the Internet; I’ve called several of the oldest horse handicappers I know looking for the best, the coolest, probably the most suggestive and downright questionable titles we could come up with.
When I produced my selections I asked personally does this name make me grin. Does the name create a powerful picture in my mind? Can I state this name in front of our mother without feeling awkward? Let’s have a look.
The Past 10 years
The Jockey Club has definitely stiffened up what they consider acceptable thoroughbred names so the past ten years are certainly not nearly as colorful as the 100 plus years before. Here really are a few of the best horse titles of the past 10 years.
Funny Cide – The 2003 Derby winners name is a play in the fathers name Distorted Humor great mothers Belle’s Good Cide. But to me the name Funny Cide seems like a Superman villain some sort of Bizarro World version of Jack Kevorkian.
Big Brown – Named after UPS, Big Brown shipped the perfect product placement. UPS service provider Paul Pompa Jr. named their horse after his biggest consumer. Now if only Kit Kat candies bars and Bombay Sapphire Gin would name a horse right after me.
Stevie Wonderboy – Owner Merv Griffin said of their horse, “My horse isn’t sightless he just wears big glasses.
Just Really Cool Names
Tabasco Cat – The 1994 Belmont levels winner was as fiery because his name suggestions. Tabasco Cat place the son of trainer D. Wayne Lukas in a coma for several days after breaking lose during a workout.
Nutzapper – Nutzapper was the title given to Andy Hillis’ gelding equine until the Jockey Club figured out title had nothing to do with cooking chestnuts in oil. The horse happens to be named Awaiting Justice.
Ghostzapper — OK maybe I like the name zapper for a horse but Ghostzapper not just had a cool name; he has the very center of a lion. After earning the 2004 breeders cup can have retired to stud, generating a cool $200, 000 per set off round (My fees are considerably less) he came back for one even more race easily winning the 2005 Metropolitan Handicap.
Ready for Battle
Everyday in the sporting world we make use of the analogies of war and horseracing is no different, here are some horses I might have gladly rode into fight.
Man o’War – Man o’War won every race but a single. Who was the only horse in order to beat the legend? The equine that beat him was called “Upset” and thus popularized the term to have an underdog victory.
War Admiral — Sired by Man o’War, War Admiral was the winner in 21 of his 26 starts along with 3 places and a show, the only real race the Admiral lost had been his 1938 match race towards Seabiscuit but on the bright side all of us got a fantastic movie because of it.
Battleship – There had been no sinking this horse, Battleship was the only horse to with the American Grand National as well as the prestigious British Grand National.
The Kid Stays in the Picture
The entertainment industry and the horseracing business often go hand in hand. Several race horses take their name from their celeb owners or big movie shows and Hollywood, always looking for a great story, will produce a blockbuster offering one of these famous thoroughbreds. Please note Bobcat Goldthwait automobile Hot to Trot doesn’t get into either the blockbuster or the well-known thoroughbred category.
Seabiscuit – The aforementioned Seabiscuit was a rags in order to riches story, although slightly overstated in Hollywood’s portrayal but this individual did give the American public wish during the depression of the 1930s. In fact Seabiscuit and his “Match of the Century” victory more than Man o War was the most widely used story of 1938 receiving even more columns of print than any individual or thing that year. President Franklin D Roosevelt was 2nd and Adolf Hitler was 3rd.
Pharlap – The Australian Wonder Horse was the subject of an unique movie 1983 movie bearing call him by his name. The horse was too great; winning 37 of 51 contests entered but being so good Phar Lap made some enemies. Just three days before the 1930 Melbourne cup, gangsters tried to assassinate the particular horse. Phar Lap survived this particular attempt on his life, won the particular Cup with the shortest odds (8/11) ever.
Afternoon Deelites – We all know what afternoon deelites are usually and being owned by ultra-smooth composer Burt Bacharach, makes this equine so much cooler.
That’s a Silly Name for a Horse
The Belmont Stakes has a history of crushing the particular dreams of Triple Crown hopefuls with 20 horses, including final years Big Brown, winning both Kentucky Derby and the Preakness levels before succumbing to the Belmont. During the early years, the Belmont furthermore had a strange run of those who win with odd names, well unusual for thoroughbred horses.
1875 — Calvin
1889 – Eric
1905 — Tanya
1908 – Colin
1928 – Vito
The Preakness Stake had a couple champs named after my aunt plus uncle.
1876 – Shirley
1879 – Harold
I hope this darkish period in racing’s history in no way repeats itself.
I’m Feeling Tipsy
The great thing about the Kentucky Derby is the traditions that come along with the very first Saturday of May. The properly dressed gentlemen, the women wearing caps they’d never wear outside of Churchill downs and of training course my favorite the Mint Julep. Google the recipe, it’s a fantastic mixture of Kentucky Bourbon, Spearmint, Powdered Sugar and water. Many tested recipes won’t tell you but I will allow you to in on a little secret. The key to bringing out the unique preferences of a Mint Julep would be to drink it from a metal glass.
Let’s have a look at a couple alcohol influenced names
Go For Gin – Mastered a sloppy track in 1994 to win the 120th Kentucky Derby an give trainer Nick Zito his second Derby champion in 4 years.
Not Bourbon – This Canadian winner of the 2008 Queen Plate might be in the running for next year’s Kentucky Derby but his name ensures he’ll be treated like an outsider in the land of Makers Mark.
How Times Have Changed. Where was Al Sharpton, when we required him?
We all know America have not always been so cool to dark people but looking back it can pretty amazing how far the US has come. Here are some actual horses registered with the Jockey Club and the year every was registered. Multiple years indicates multiple horses were registered underneath the same name. You can type of make a case for the race horses named before the height of the particular civil rights movement but for the particular 3 horses registered after 1975 you just have to shake your head.
Tar Baby (1944, 1975, and 1985)
Uncle Remus (1944 and 1965)
Uncle Tom (1950),
Jungle Bunny (1953)
Blackface Minstrel (1980)
The most egregious illustration of this lax registration completed 3rd place in the 1911 Preakness Stakes. Well let’s just state the name rhymes with bigger and it is used frequently by Chris Rock and Dr. Dre.
Can it is said that on Television?
Late Great Comedian Bill Hicks was forward of his time, his humor was often over the heads of his audience, which would result several grumbling and some heckles from a good impatient audience. His answer had been simple “Hold on, Hold around the Dick jokes are coming. inch So I’ll close with this slip dedicated to the dick jokes of the horseracing world. Here a few of the most risqué, sexually effective and down right dirty horse titles from the past 150 years.
Lagnaf – (1978) An acronym regarding Let’s all get naked… Items let you figure out the rest
Wrecked Em (1983)
Golden Shower (1955)
Bodacious Tatas (1985)
Blow Me (1945)
Cum Rocket (1969)
Date More Minors (1998)
And ultimately I’ll close with two of the best.
In 1969 there was the horse that raced at Aqueduct called Cunning Stunt, say that five times fast.
And of course the particular YouTube sensation Hoof Hearted.