Pam’s Recovery Story: Family or Alcohol
My name is Pam, and I struggled with Alcohol for over three years. I got to a low point where I was faced with losing my family. Initially, when I was a social drinker and somewhat controlled, it was fun. You know, it’s a social lubricant, we had a great time, but as I got deeper and deeper into my alcoholism, I never felt good.
When I started drinking every day, and then having to drink in the morning to appease how I felt, I knew long before I tried to get sober what I was. I had isolated socially. I wasn’t present in mind with my children. I kind of had the attitude that they’re all done with me because they’re grown. I had really lost my zeal and my lust for life. My first attempt was I attended AA meetings, but I didn’t do the steps and I didn’t work the program. I went to the meetings because they made me feel good and they gave me inspiration, but I was only going to one meeting a week. At Christmas time, we were headed on a family trip to Hawaii, and my family said, “No drinking.” I white knuckled it and made it through that trip. The last relapse I had, I didn’t feel good whether I was drinking or not. I was terrified I couldn’t stop. When my family gave me an ultimatum to get clean, or that I was probably facing a divorce, I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to do it.
There’s a big difference between trying to quit drinking on your own and having the tools in place to help you stay sober. Sobriety is a byproduct of how I feel now, working the steps, what Duffy’s started for me. My life is better. I used to think that, being in my early fifties, “My kids are grown; what’s left.” Now I know no boundaries. My children have commented that I glow, and that I’m always smiling. That’s how I feel, it’s hard to get the smile off my face. I couldn’t even fathom going back to drinking because I feel so darn good! There’s no drug better than being sober. Magic happens in this place, if you’re open to it. And it did for me..
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